Well here it is the first time posting, not a big deal since hardly anyone will read this.
It is Easter today a day of resurrection, of worship, of family and friends. Today on the other hand feels odd, instead of the happiness that I had when I was a child, I am instead feeling the sadness of the ones we have lost. This was the day that my family gathered at grandma's house and had dinner and hid eggs and had a good time. Today we will be going to grandma's house but she won't be there neither will grandpa. Instead of seeing them there drinking their coffee, puffing on a Winston, I will instead visit them at the cemetery. It has been over 10 years but it is always hard during the holidays.
This year though it is even more difficult. A week ago my boyfriends sis passed, and he is having a hard time trying to sort through things, it has been only a little over a week. I just wish there was something I could do, but having been there in a way I understand that it will take time, the pain and the memories never go away, you just learn to cope with it in your day to day life. As my mom described it "It is all in a cabinet, there are times when the door opens and you have to look at it but you find the strength to close the door, you don't forget it's there, you just function around it."
So today on this bitter sweet day I will go to my Grandma's house(now my Uncle Robert), gather with cousins, uncles and aunts, my parents, and my kids and try one more year to get through it without them. The holiday is not for me anymore I am an adult it is for my kids. So for them and and anyone that read this "Happy Easter". I love you Sab.
